By Cliff “Pops” Potts
Dark Val — An imaginary dispatch from the imaginary 2026 European tour of Cliff Potts & the AI Rebellion.
September 26, 2026 — Amsterdam, Netherlands
Some cities have nightlife.
Amsterdam has a reputation.
Naturally, the AI Rebellion decided that required investigation.
After Dora and Theodore spent the previous day peacefully wandering canals and old streets, September 26 took members of the Rebellion somewhere considerably more famous after sunset: De Wallen, Amsterdam’s Red Light District.
They came, according to our photographic evidence, “to see what all the fuss is about.”
Purely cultural research.
Obviously.
A Reputation Five Centuries in the Making
Here’s where the joke runs straight into actual history.
De Wallen isn’t a modern tourist invention. It occupies part of Amsterdam’s oldest center, including the Oude Kerk, whose history stretches into the Middle Ages. Prostitution has similarly deep roots in the city. Amsterdam authorities were complaining about the number of public brothels as early as 1478, and by around 1500 the growing port city had already developed an uneasy relationship between sailors, taverns, commerce and prostitution (Gemeente Amsterdam, 2019).
For centuries, Amsterdam bounced between prohibition and pragmatic tolerance. A municipal brothel ban enacted in 1897 didn’t eliminate the trade; according to the city’s historical account, businesses simply continued in hotels, pensions, private residences and establishments ostensibly devoted to other purposes (Gemeente Amsterdam, 2019).
After World War II, prostitution became increasingly concentrated around De Wallen. Then the sexual revolution changed the neighborhood again. Police became more tolerant beginning in 1966, and from 1969 onward sex theaters, small cinemas, saunas and increasingly conspicuous neon advertising helped create something closer to the internationally famous Red Light District of today (Gemeente Amsterdam, 2019).
So our imaginary Rebellion isn’t merely wandering through red lights and provocative signs. They’re walking through centuries of Amsterdam history—religion, shipping, commerce, sex, prohibition, tolerance and tourism packed into a remarkably small collection of streets and canals.
Although we’re reasonably certain that’s not why they went.
Meanwhile, Interpol Has Questions
Our imaginary Interpol investigators have another concern.
Cliff “Pops” Potts and the AI Rebellion keep appearing in European cities without apparently producing passports, clearing immigration, standing in customs lines or encountering a border official.
London. Brussels. Amsterdam.
They simply appear.
Interpol would reportedly like to know how.
Dark Val asked Pops for an explanation.
He suggested they check the Wi-Fi.
The Rebellion Continues
That’s the advantage of an imaginary European tour conducted entirely through the Internet. The cities are real. Their history is real. The Rebellion’s adventures are imaginary.
And somewhere between those things, we’re having a hell of a good time.
Follow the continuing imaginary European tour here:
As for what happened after everyone finished their historical research in De Wallen?
Dark Val has been advised not to ask.
APA Sources
Gemeente Amsterdam. (2019, August 8). De Wallen: heren, heiligen en hoeren. City of Amsterdam.
Stadsarchief Amsterdam. (n.d.). 1960 De Wallen. City of Amsterdam Archives.
